So, I just finished watching House again, the whole
series…not all in a day, I just happened to finish it today. I like that show.
I like it down to the irritating way that Omar Epps is just plain terrible at
showing any sort of emotion ever. It’s like how perfectly Keanu was cast for
Neo in The Matrix films. Omar Epps should have been Morpheus. That’s where that
franchise fell on its face…he said while rolling his eyes while wishing there
were a font for sarcasm. Anyway, so House is a badass and everything pretty
much works out for him all the time, and ironically enough, it also happens to
be the best thing for the hospital and for his team, who always learns their
lesson by episode end.
Now, I’d like to know, in this context rhetorically, but in
for reals life if anyone knows please find me and tell me, does anyone like
that actually exist? I know that we are all familiar with antiheros and I’m
aware that they exist out there in the world somewhere, probably. Characters in
books come to mind, though no real people. Maybe Jerry Lee Lewis…he married his
14 year old cousin right?! And people were all against it, but the dude was a
badass musician and did things his way and didn’t give a shit about what anyone
else thought. Now if he could only diagnose and treat diseases. Would anyone
watch that show; Jerry Lee Lewis is touring around the world with his band,
playing sold out shows and having light bulb moments in the middle of
performances, at which point he would run off stage and in true hero slo-mo
fashion, would run at the camera towards whatever ailing person he had met in
that episode and cure them and then have some clever one-liner prepared based
on the titles of his songs or something. Yeah, that might be just terrible
enough to last a few seasons. And then after it got cancelled and everyone had
their fun just tearing the show to pieces, someone would have the great idea to
do a prequel series and call it, Young Jerry Lee Lewis, and it would chronicle
how he came to discover his talents in both diagnostic medicine and grand
piano. That show would be a nostalgic hit and might even win an Emmy. Oh and
just to be clear, I’d watch both of those shows.
Back to the other thing I was saying; is there anyone that
exists that is a narcissistic, brilliant addict with a closet full of suit
jackets and t-shirts sitting in some hospital somewhere looking for puzzles to
solve? How much of a stretch is it really I guess? I mean, how many of us know
extraordinarily talented people, and how many of those people aren’t just a bit
of an asshole? Aren’t just a little self-centered? Aren’t just a little too
clever sometimes, even to their detriment? I hope his character was based off
of a real person. If I ever get sick and end up in the hospital, I hope I’m
lucky enough to have someone involved in my case that just wants to figure out
what the problem is and solve it and is willing to do everything it takes to
get the job done. I don’t ever need to see him, I already have the pictures in
my head anyway, seeing him/her would just ruin the illusion. The almost having
to die and then they come in and save the day part I could totally do without,
but the rest of it, I’m in.
Also, no one in the history of time talks like the mother
and daughter on the Gilmore Girls. And yes I watched it, shut up, so did you
cuz you know exactly what I’m talking about. Nobody is that clever all the
time, and nobody talks that fast all the time. And in case you’re still holding
strong to your Gilmore Girls convictions, go ahead and watch Bad Santa, and
watch Lorelai get Angelina Jolie’d in a car by Billy Bob Thorton dressed as
Santa, all the while screaming ‘Fuck me Santa’ over and over…then try to watch
her and Rory have a lightning fast conversation without that popping up in your
peripheral. That is all, good day.
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