I liked her immediately.
My band was looking for a singer and she responded to my ad
on Craigslist. She sent a link to her Facebook page and I could tell she was
pretty, but had no idea if she could sing; I hoped she could. The situation
with our singer had gotten to the point where I could tell she didn’t want to
be there anymore and she was dropping hints that she wanted to try different
styles that were just not in our scope as a band. Plus she was arriving late to
practice very consistently and her general attitude just needed a tweak. Enter
the ad online and the short list of singers I was going to tryout on my own and
then see who was worth bringing to the band. Looking back on it, that was a
pretty ballsy move; I don’t even remember if I even told my best friend what I
was doing. So I listened to a bunch of really not great singers and either
didn’t respond to their emails or found a nice way to say that they weren’t
going to fit with our style. But she didn’t have anything online, so we had to
meet and figure it out in person.
We agreed to meet at my place north of Hollywood because we
had the garage all soundproofed and set up for practice and it was only going
to be the two of us anyway. I don’t remember having any sort of specific plan
in mind other than hearing her sing by herself and then depending on how that
went, having her try to sing to a couple tracks that I had sent her. So she
drove up and called when she parked; the way our complex was set up, parking
inside was pretty much always hosed, and if you weren’t familiar with the
layout, you were going to get lost. I went out to meet her and I think I went
brain neutral for a minute. I can still see her walking up: she had dark
brown/black hair with a couple red streaks in it, she was wearing a black tank
top and jeans and Chucks and had aviator sunglasses on. By the way, that look STILL
fits in my top three. I remember hoping for a split second that she couldn’t
sing and then I could just ask her out…cuz in my twisted mind that would
somehow work out; hey you can’t sing, but I totally want to be inside you so
it’s ok, you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Anyway, I tried to play it cool.
We went into the garage and made small talk; I wanted to
know what kind of music she was into, why she wanted to be in a band, blah blah
blah. I really stopped caring about all of that and just wanted to touch her
face with my face. She had this air about her: she was confident and had this
vibe like she was happy to be there, but she definitely didn’t need this band
in her life. She was going to be fine without it, no question. We made it
through a few more minutes of bullshit small talk until I felt like I
absolutely had to get down to business and find out if this girl could sing…and
subsequently if I’d have to be in a band with her and pretend that I wasn’t
insanely attracted to her on a regular basis…and watch other guys hit on her
all the time…and have to see her in some crazy sexy rock outfits that she was
absolutely the kind of girl to wear if she were a lead singer in a band. All of
that happened in my head; my imagination is rarely short of material to work
with.
So I finally asked if she had anything prepared or if she
just wanted to sing something off the cuff, whatever she was feeling at the
moment. She said she had something in mind, it was a band I either hadn’t heard
of or seriously didn’t care about because my brain was embroiled in this stupid
battle: if she could sing, we’d definitely get more heads through the door at
shows, she had some connections that could definitely help us out, so things
might start looking up for the band: if she couldn’t, I might get to see her
naked in the near future. There were obviously other scenarios in play, but
those were the ends of the spectrum and that’s all I could see.
We were together off and on for five years. She broke up
three of my relationships and I temporarily broke up her engagement. So, yeah,
not a strong singer…
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