Call Your Corners man

Obviously this is purely hypothetical, but I hope I don’t ever have to find out what it feels like to actually have my spirit crushed. 

The closest thing I’ve experienced to that feeling would be working at an Amazon warehouse; that shit was the most mind-numbing, banal, vanilla with no sprinkles job I’ve ever had. If you’re a picker and that’s the position you start under, that’s the ONLY position you will be in for no less than six weeks or some nonsense. You have to prove proficient at one task before you get trained in another one. This is crazy house because you’re working four ten our shifts per week for not much more than minimum wage; they’re essentially asking you to be an automaton for 10 hours a day. If for nothing else than everyone's sanity, you should be trained on two things right off the bat so you can break up your day. Screwing in the same bolt for 10 hours straight is enough to make even the most patient folks go a little bonkers from time to time. For a creative person, this was torture. There is no frivolous talking, it’ll affect your numbers, and if your numbers aren’t up you won’t get trained in another task. Just call your corners and say excuse me if you're coming up behind another picker, but that's it. So if your numbers aren’t up for a couple days straight, they’ll have someone shadow you and tell you how to be more mechanical so you can hit their projected numbers; awesome... You also don’t get a choice of music, you have to listen to whatever they’re piping in through the house speakers, which can be anything from Amy Grant to Metallica, because they sell ipods and other mp3 players and apparently you can’t put your name on yours or something. Ok, so none of your own music, no talking unless you’re on break…oh, and for the love of God don’t get on your tippy toes to reach for an item or bend over with your back and not your legs; you will get written up for either or both and you’ll have someone come over to you and show you how to bend over properly, or where the step stool is so you can reach the upper shelves safely…while they’re talking to you, your numbers are going down and your opportunity to learn a new mechanical task is becoming a pipe dream.

So let’s say you were brought in as a packer; you have to hit whatever projected numbers they have for that before they train you on another task, including picking. So whatever entry-level position you’re brought into is just bullshit for six weeks or however long. I don’t even remember, I know they said it, but I didn’t make it to the learning another task portion of hell, I quit that job so hard. I tried to make it fun, I tried to not care about my numbers, I tried TO care about my numbers, it didn't matter. At the end of the day, I just wanted to come home and sleep because I had been essentially speed walking for nine and a half hours, roughly 7-12 miles per day and my brain hadn't fully turned on all day and my body was exhausted. 

Is Amazon efficient; yup. Are there lots of people who work in their warehouses; yup. Do a lot of them like it; probably. I know people exist on this planet that can do mundane shit all day and then come home and play Playstation or Xbox or whatever, and just shrug it off as ‘life’ and be ok with it, but man, that is so not who I am. I think I’m happy for the experience, but otherwise that place is where dreams go to die and I’m super glad I got out when I did. 

I suppose today's little rant is sponsored by perspective, because without it we just wouldn't know any better.